Student Living 2022-2023

How to NOT like someone

Why? At some point in this semester, you may experience negative feelings toward a roommate. You can hold those feelings until a resolution can be found and not negatively impact others' experiences. This is an important part of conflict resolution while living in BYU-I Approved Housing.

It doesn't have to be public knowledge.

You don't have to like someone, but you don't have to let everyone know you don't like them. Observing a roommate in their home necessitates the highest level of care and consideration. There is no need to be behind their back airing out problems–it only makes the conflict worse.

Refer to the Matthew 18 Principle.

Don't bring people down to build yourself up.

Just because you don't like someone does not mean they don't deserve to like themselves. Your goal should never be to make someone feel bad about themselves. This is how you can express your love for them during difficult times.

People can be asked to correct their bad choices without being labeled as a bad person. Refer for help when needed when addressing student honor issues.

Don't isolate or exclude.

You can choose not to spend your individual time with someone, but it is never okay to exclude or isolate them from group activities.

If you notice a roommate is no longer participating in the apartment, they likely don't feel welcome or included.

Prayerfully consider questions you could ask in an effort to understand and be prepared to generously listen.

Don't gang up and try to overpower someone.

There may be a reason you don't like someone, but that does not mean you need to recruit others not to like them. It's likely a personality conflict between you, and not everyone is going to have the same issues.

Apartment meetings scheduled amid conflict can become more focused on blame than promoting shared responsibility. We recommend being proactive in your communication.

Use Communication Skills to respectfully set boundaries.

If you think this something can be eventually talked through, try that first. If that doesn't work, practice some mutual respect. Use those skills to ask for some space while you manage your emotions and response.